Field Note: On the Dissolution of Societal Norms and the Rise of Individual Discovery

Today, there is no clear societal pressure to act a certain way. People no longer feel compelled to present themselves as especially “womanly” or “manly.” For some time now, there’s been a constant push, particularly in the U.S., but also globally, toward individualism. We’ve all been fed this “be whoever you want to be” messaging, and that has led to a sort of cultural unmooring. Whether that’s good or bad isn’t the point, but it’s just where things are now.

As a result, people no longer feel they should act a certain way simply because society expects them to. And in fact, they might not even be able to tell you what their society expects of them in the first place. If someone asked me, “How does America expect men to act?” or “What does the ideal American man look like?”, I wouldn’t know how to answer. That second question might even come off as offensive, as if it’s inappropriate to expect men to act or appear a certain way at all.

Compare this to how things were in the 1800s or just about anytime before the 21st century. Back then, there were clear expectations. Men were supposed to act “gentlemanly,” women “womanly.” People aspired to a certain shared ideal of etiquette and behavior. There was an understood sense of formality. You addressed people as “mister” or “madam.” You could feel shame, or be shamed, for failing to meet those standards. There was a collective aspiration to appear as civilized as possible.

That doesn’t really exist anymore. Today, there is little to no societal shame for acting outside of the expected norms, because those norms are no longer dominant or widely agreed upon. In fact, entire movements have emerged that openly celebrate shamelessness, often as a form of self-liberation. Society has splintered into countless subcultures and online communities, each with its own rules, aesthetics, and values. There’s no longer a single ruling cultural framework.

Because of all this, it seems that young people today spend more time trying to discover who they are, and more importantly, who they belong to, than people did in the past. Whether that’s a positive development or not is not something for me to determine. But it does feel like this endless search for identity is the byproduct of a cultural shift away from the shared, civilizing expectations of the past.

Where people once tried to rise above the animalistic or primitive aspects of life, through formality, etiquette, and collective standards, today, many seem more concerned with authenticity, self-expression, and individuality. It’s not necessarily a regression or a progression. Just a change. One worth noticing.